cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize