Betty ford says i'm here all night
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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