I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
