I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
