So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
