Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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