just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
