dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
What did we do last night that was yellow?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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