So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
