Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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