doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
