as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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