i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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