She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
