We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
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In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
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He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
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