That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
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She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
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I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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