Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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