He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
where are you?
Hypothermia
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
