im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
