I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
