I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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