So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
