remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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