The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
barbara walters just said penis...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
