very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
two words: eviction party
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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