Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
