If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
