No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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