I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize