The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
