I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
