Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
