giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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