I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
