So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
