wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
