and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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