i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
