does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
