I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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