my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
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