I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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