did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize