Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
