Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I just want to hang out with her.

  (916): View more from California

  You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.

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  (210): I just want to hang out with her. (916): You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you. http://tfl.nu/9qvp
  Replies (24) Good night (1944) Bad night (3910)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.

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  (225): things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control. http://tfl.nu/aw3o
  Replies (36) Good night (6412) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.

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  (913): Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns. http://tfl.nu/zzio
  Replies (33) Good night (1300) Bad night (3361)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule

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  (916): I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule http://tfl.nu/z9ak
  Replies (8) Good night (4065) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny

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  (206): And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny http://tfl.nu/a88g
  Replies (17) Good night (6680) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.

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  (302): NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/6d9q
  Replies (10) Good night (2189) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.

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  (214): He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am. http://tfl.nu/wn9t
  Replies (4) Good night (2258) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.

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  (907): Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was. http://tfl.nu/9i4y
  Replies (3) Good night (1949) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.

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  (312): That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison. http://tfl.nu/qs9j
  Replies (22) Good night (1610) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult

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  (504): lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult http://tfl.nu/w1mp
  Replies (8) Good night (992) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours

  (646): View more from New York

  This text was so worth waking up to

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  (407): I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours (646): This text was so worth waking up to http://tfl.nu/6rgp
  Replies (4) Good night (908) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?

  (561): View more from Florida

  Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.

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  (954): Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do? (561): Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one. http://tfl.nu/ehu8
  Replies (4) Good night (980) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.

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  (440): You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex. http://tfl.nu/jc9e
  Replies (3) Good night (694) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos

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  (330): I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos http://tfl.nu/sn3g
  Replies (0) Good night (227) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.

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  (530): My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good. http://tfl.nu/am6d
  Replies (2) Good night (274) Bad night (186)

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