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• (317): View more from Indiana

  His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  awkward

  (309): View more from Illinois

  no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  wtf

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• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.

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• (916): View more from California

  He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.

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• (845): View more from New York

  The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart

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• (909): View more from California

  did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?

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