Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  Joe is yelling at the trees again.

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  (760): Joe is yelling at the trees again. http://tfl.nu/dpjn
  Replies (26) Good night (4023) Bad night (770)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license

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  (813): i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license http://tfl.nu/t0ir
  Replies (13) Good night (5588) Bad night (697)
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  (914): View more from New York

  threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student

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  (914): threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student http://tfl.nu/czt4
  Replies (24) Good night (5071) Bad night (1237)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?

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  (803): Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation? http://tfl.nu/0dba
  Replies (15) Good night (5045) Bad night (1911)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos

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  (512): watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos http://tfl.nu/z3bc
  Replies (17) Good night (8245) Bad night (1399)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.

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  (404): Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic. http://tfl.nu/dv7k
  Replies (27) Good night (3522) Bad night (5349)
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  (213): View more from California

  Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.

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  (213): Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans. http://tfl.nu/11hu
  Replies (14) Good night (6256) Bad night (1824)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.

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  (402): I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign. http://tfl.nu/14vr
  Replies (1) Good night (1916) Bad night (846)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?

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  (405): I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke? http://tfl.nu/as8o
  Replies (14) Good night (2326) Bad night (738)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.

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  (281): And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways. http://tfl.nu/b6k4
  Replies (3) Good night (1434) Bad night (563)
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  (716): View more from New York

  We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club

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  (716): We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club http://tfl.nu/652n
  Replies (4) Good night (510) Bad night (342)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.

  (281): View more from Texas

  You're a hero.

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  (832): Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too. (281): You're a hero. http://tfl.nu/xn5z
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (477)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall

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  (719): Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall http://tfl.nu/gilf
  Replies (0) Good night (691) Bad night (298)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.

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  (509): We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend. http://tfl.nu/7hil
  Replies (3) Good night (853) Bad night (354)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick

  (216): View more from Ohio

  In a very non respectful way

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  (216): Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick (216): In a very non respectful way http://tfl.nu/zvpk
  Replies (2) Good night (654) Bad night (208)

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