clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
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Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT