I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
