I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize