Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
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