The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
