This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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