please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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