If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
