either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
