pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
