Redeem this text for a blowjob
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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