i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
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