i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
