Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
