no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
well, you know. whores of a feather.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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