why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
