i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
