I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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