Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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