So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
