drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
