You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
