They should really pass out barf bags in church
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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