dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
