We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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