My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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