Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
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